xbox live and facebook are tricking me into believing I actually have an active social life
So I just went to student health services and on my way in there was a girl outside on her phone saying "I just dont want you to be angry" and on my way out she was saying "I have the side effects sheet right here" Someone started the semester off classy
It's been over a month and I still can't find the bra I wore out on new years eve.
so he just called his new girlfriend by my name and she was too drunk to even notice how awkward..
Saying you want a bj does not count as saying you wanna see me btw.
I had to throw up. it was the only way to avoid kissing her after she swallowed..
I made an oral joke and he laughed... That's when I realized I wasn't Daddy's Little Girl anymore.
he just gave me a love letter in polish. he thinks i speak polish. I DONT SPEAK POLISH
Overslept. So hungover. Apparently texting the first person in my contact list the time I would like to wake up is not how the alarm clock in my phone actually works.
New hot neighbor boys moving in across from us...So i did the logical thing and bought two 30 packs up the hill and walked right by em. Consider the line hooked and ready to reel.
my last clear memory of the night was being offered a shot but having so much alcohol in my hands that someone literally had to pour it in my mouth for me. after that it pretty much skips to waking up face down and shirtless on my floor.
Last night all you did was whine about how you needed something new and exciting
Is THAT why I woke up with dreadlocks?
That was the second worst thing to happen to my asshole.
So after the absinthe shots_____(fill in the blank area for me please)......
Ive seen a birth plenty of times, pretty awesome like a bear trying to climb out of a volkswagon.
Randomize
