I was just at the bank and there was a fat lady wearing a cape. today is gonna be awesome.
Ok so my english teacher told me i could have 5 absences bc of my "problem". I have no idea what she is talking about
In an effort to go green, I just used rainwater to fill my bong.
jungle juice + heels + stairs = broken arm
Just found a picture of a hobo making out with her tits...a HOBO
so some random man just messaged me on facebook "tig ol bitties" should i be concerned?
I can't tell which way is up. Too many corners around his house too. An arbitary assimilation of edges.
Christ, I swear you are the high man's Dr. Seuss.
Drank a fosters this weekend and last weekend. Listening to down under 5 times a day. Spent 100 dollars on a sleeveless men at work shirt circa 1983. We don't leave for another 5 weeks. I call it pregaming.
Overdraft my account again. Parents are starting to ask questions. What would go over better a gambling or drug addiction??
Idk man I'm just a giant talking marshmallow ready to be toasted and dipped in chocolate
I just closed two deals on my laptop from my bathroom while smoking a bowl, like a bawssss. Working from home is my favorite.
Teaching my class, used paper clips to fix my hair. Too hungover to be a kindergarten teacher.
I think this shark week should consist of getting drunk enough to actually go hunt sharks ourselves.
Last week in my political science paper I quoted the Mighty Ducks. This week, I compared the Constitution to a weird pickle law in Connecticut (by law, it's not a pickle unless it bounces). So, yeah, clearly I'm ready to be back to being a college student.
Just paid for my STD meds using a giftcard I got for Christmas. Thanks mom.
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