So my game is weak??
If your game is "Lets have sex, and maybe pizza" then yes.
I'm not sure where but someone shit somewhere in the house
Just wandered into a surprise final. Only a surprise for me though. I wish I could say this is the first time this has happened.
it's like i need an invisible sign across my boobs that says "DOESN'T HAVE DADDY ISSUES" that only old men can see
The cab driver had me sign for the payment and I was like give me a second while I throw up right outside your door.
Hungover snowboarding. Puked off the lift and traumatized a group lesson for kids. Crash course on adulthood.
It's now 3:30 and the guy I went home with is showering me with shredded cheese. Nbd.
Just whatever you do please don't lick his face again.
I woke up to him using my debit card to order PPV porn and Jimmy Johns. I don't even know his name.
I woke up this morning covered in blood and peanut butter. I am now safe from vampires with nut allergies.
These bathrooms are miraculous. I'd love to have sex in here. Wow. I've peed 5 times.
Guess whose hungry like a hippo: this bitch.
How does one acquire holy water?
what food is Colorado known for?
Pot brownies.
She was trying to be sexy well putting on my condom with her mouth when her cat pounced from the corner of the room witch caused her to gasp and inhale the condom
Randomize
