Tried to buy Xanax from my boss last night. Wrong Mike.
I need to stop researching the drugs I do on Wikipedia. The parts about abuse and dependency hit too close to home
through my window right now you can see the hot chick next door is standing BUTT ASS NAKED eating peanut butter off a knife.
ill be there in 5.
i feel like verizon should give a sexter of the month award
Just invented taco cereal.
i just thought that perhaps i was done with the "boning on someone else's futon" stage of my life. guess not.
Im in the STD packet for new students this year. And im going to be plastered tonight so be forewarned
What do you wear to apply at a strip club?
I told him if he ever gets a "wink" text from me after 10:00pm to assume I really mean "we should be hooking up by 2:30am"
Yea. I feel great. My life is great. My job isn't as shitty. And my daddy loves me. I love strip clubs. Great self esteem boost.
And suddenly....Tubas. Tubas everywhere.
AND HOLY SHIT FLUBBER IS ON NETFLIX
You should be able to leave recommendations on Tinder.
Just had sex in the room next to my parents. Heading back to school ASAP.
How is it??
I'm drinking Gatorade out of a champagne flute.
Randomize
