She looked kinda like Mario Batali?
Can you imagine it being physically possible any other way unless the cows are unnaturally flexible
You stood next to him taking HUGE gasps of air in an attempt to second hand smoke his cig because you didn't have one...
He only talks to me during the summer and it's probably because I let him fuck me in my pool last year.
I'm going to have to start sleeping with my keys taped to my stomach.
I need to shotgun another beer. Where's the machete?
OK WHO CHANGED MY RING TONE TO LADY AND THE TRAMP AND CHANGED EVERY CONTACT IN MY PHONE TO 'SOME GUY I FUCKED'?
I think I want to impress his gay best friend more than him..
A BJ like that needs to be recommended.
I'm gonna tie him up and fart in that pathetic excuse for a mustache
I LOVE YOU NO MATTER HOW MANY BALLS YOUVE SUCKED
He ate a Doritos taco from my boobs. Does your boyfriend do that?
She's 90% sass and 10% boobs
I can see their wedding vows now: 'Til basicness do us part
I just came in my own mouth don't ask me how cuz it really hurt and felt good at the same time.
Randomize
