I've been thinking about all the girls in my life in terms of applying to college.
Huh?
I guess what im trying to say is that your my safety school.
Omg. Get me out of here. Someone is playing michelle branch.
What can i say im a girl who smells like weiners.
He asked for his proof of insurance and he pulled out a Magnum by mistake. All of the sudden gignger was looking real good to me.
Single handedly the worst sex I've ever had just went down. Its like we both laid there after word-less thinking about the other " could they be any worse in bed" ?
I put a toilet paper roll with my number on it by his face... hooking up is not happening
St Patricks day needs to be raged like youve never raged before. Like youre in the desert and it starts raining beer. Like it's the day the announced the 21st amendment (which is the one that ended prohibition)
Mass text to all of my back up boy toys. First one here wins. Mama needs some.
This is kind of a weird question but were you the other girl Ben asked to do a group sex thing with?
i took four shots of tequila, threw my fist up in the air, then went around the party showing everyone how to do the ninja turtle handshake. that's the last thing I remember
If it goes near your penis, it should not go near the Hawks.
someone in the elevator just told me i looked like a struggle but i smell very pretty..
omg how embarrassing to not hear the delivery person knocking because you're singing "where are you Pizza" to the tune of "where are you christmas" too loudly
Baked out of my mind. Went in the bathroom, a daddy long leg spider and a carpenter ant are battling it out on the floor. I brought my computer with some dubstep.
OMG THE ANT WON
is it weird that i just witnessed the marriage of someone ive had sex with on multiple occasions?
Randomize
