As a matter of fact my bong is named Hulkamania brother
It was like if Side-show Bob had a vagina for a mouth
got them to do a wheelbarrow of shame down the sidewalk after the threesome. I rule
Just saw a cop issuing a DUI. At 3 pm. It's definitely the start of winter break.
True Life: I hate vaginal excretions
The only way I made it through work was reminding myself how many margaritas per hour I was making
Can we please stop calling your vagina the cave of wonders?
don't ever tell me how terrible your next walk of shame is until you run into your little brother on his way to class.
Note for the future: whiskey syrup is AMAZING on 3am pancakes.
So some sort of safe sex group just flash mobbed the bar by putting condoms over people's beers.
They left screaming as a hale of lubbed up condoms rained into their hair.
I got "plug" during family Catch Phrase and struggled to not make a reference to butt plug so I skipped it
IM NOT TALKING TO YOU UNTIL YOU MAKE A PROCLAMATION YOU LOVE ME MORE THAN TACOS
come over we're fb stalking guys who were dressed as bananas last night because i can't remember which one i blew
Definitely ended up doing Coke with Chewbacca in the porta potty behind the haunted house.
I think I should write my liver a thank you note. If it had my work ethic, I would be dead now.
Randomize
