you need to do more things constructive for your career. like wearing pants more often.
3 different guys in my psych class know me as 3 different names and said hi to me with all 3 different names-Andrea, Grace, and Bella
I've never been more proud of you
the only thing i can think of after seeing avatar is "when are they gonna make avatar porn?"
I just found $40 in the jeans I wore last night. PS I also found the jeans I wore last night.
Seriously? What part of meeting at Oktoberfest while I'm wearing a dirndl, double fisting, and making out with random guys screams "i'm girlfriend material"?!
I guess I'm in a committed relationship. We just had shot 1 of 3 of Gardasil. I'm now dead inside.
THIS IS NO TIME FOR SHAME JOSH. JUST GOTTA GET IT IN. PURELY FOR LEVELING UP PURPOSES
I think all the stress in my life right now can be directly correlated with never winning a game of Bop It as a child.
So he's compensating for a really small penis. Either that or he's a drug lord.
You just can't finish a sentence that starts with "I may have drunk peed in the bed" with "do you mind if I skip work and sleep here?" Anyways, yeah still drunk at work.
Not at all! I'll let your potential employer know you have a huge dick
She wanted me to stick my dick in the birthday cake she got me
A respectable fucking: good but like I don't want to get kicked out of my hotel room
I swear we were drugged last night
We had a 130$ tab bitch. We drugged ourselves.
I’m torn. She’s crazy - like legitimately “Wear your skin as a suit” crazy. But her blow jobs and dirty talk are Pornhub quality!
Randomize
