Be sure to let me know if your relationship crumbles so I can resume hitting on you
Getting fucked up met up rando with a girl I confesswed my love for last night. weird, going with it
I just found out that AAA will pick you up if you're drunk for free if you're a member. How did I not know about this?
Ok I might come if this chair quits being so great...I'm also seeing this bush in the corner turn into a witch
Dont have access to internet. masturbating to shake weight commercial.
Dude, I fucked her last night with nothing but my bandana on. Like straight Indian chief style.
But life is now good. Well, not good, good would be not wearing the penis hat with the extended family of the boy I just cheated on, but as good as it's going to get today
For future reference "bring our litter sisters on our date day" is not such a good idea
You told her dad that you were gonna "superman that ho" I love the first impressions you make
i only avoided him because he looked like he was about to have a heart attack and i didnt feel like doing cpr on my day off.
what type of emt are you
Eating cold pizza and drinking a beer for breakfast while standing in a hotel window naked is how I say hello September...
I'm just the girl with the breathalyzer keychain, and I embrace that.
So hypothetically speaking.. say someone dropped their birth control pill in a hot bowl of soup, and it possibly disintegrated.. would it be just as useful?
Turns out, the guy I'm casually fucking has a girlfriend who's cheating on him with my sister's boyfriends brother who I fucked last year. And my sex life has now come full circle.
im on a boat
How did you get this number?
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