it's a well known fact that sluts are attracted to bright colors
american apparel?
try lime green
My history with restaurant waiters is severely limiting our dinner options.
we fucked while standing on a ladder. challenging, but worth it.
Stripperoke is exactly what it sounds...
Is this girl REALLY making a smoothie in the bathroom right now?
I got us a lift home. Payment may require me giving road head, are you cool just chilling in the back seat pretending to be oblivious to this happening?
Bad behavior is like a petri dish that grows organically In my heart
Dude that soap I drank last night is fucking killing me.
Had a dream I cut my own dick off. That's it I gotta see a doctor...
Umm
Exactly.
Also the girl beside me smells like she's been in a deep fryer.
After my second liter of German beer, nothing D-cup or larger is safe near me.
Im pretty sure breakfast wine is a thing, and if it isn't, I just invented it
He came and farted at the same time. My life is over.
So, if you were also having sex around 11pm, then we were legitimately being penetrated at the exact same time. That is amazing. We are soul sisters.
I CAN'T FALL IN LOVE WITH SOMEONE WHO HAS A LISP. I JUST CAN'T.
Randomize
