ur plase or mine? lol
well if you don't learn how to spell, you may be at your place and I'll be at mine.
The bubbles in my bathtub are singing to me in german....
drunk sex in a shower = bad idea broken arm
my coworker just texted me asking if i remember pissing in the mop bucket at the gas station
Okay wait let me power puke and then we can go dancing
"guaranteed dick" "anywhere - her room, my room, trees, couch"
Sorry that was quotes about you from the grad student.
I am "lost the control of my head" high right now.
The weekend is off to a good start: she just got into a verbal fight with a hobo. Nearly a fist fight.
I'll be in my room with a breakfast burrito at 2:30. It's up to you...
I found my hair extensions. They were in my hamper.
How could she say that about my foreskin when she hasn't even seen all the cool stuff I can do with it?
Powdered alcohol is a real thing now. Move over crystal light... Water bottles rejoice!!
I'm going to confession for the first time in 6 years. Where do I start, the gay sex or rampant alcoholism?
sorry for the late response. was in jail for 6 months.
They made Game of Thrones Oreos. Kill me.
Randomize
