We may or may not have a drunk cat on our hands.
Who wrote Most Moistest Dad on my chest and what the fuck does it mean?!?
the question is "speedos?" and the answer is "yes".
Oh my fucking god I saw the pictures. What the mother fucking fuck. Destroy the pictures. Destroy the fucking pictures.
Please confirm the destruction of the pictures. NOW.
Even with having the shower running and music on everyone could hear the alcohol gods making me sacrifice my dignity and meals from the past week.
This guy on the bus keeps leaning over and sniffing my hair.
In related news, I couldn't want to blow you more if your dick made harmonica noises.
I'm drunk at 3:28
I'm jealous as shit at 3:34
The attempted closet masturbation was unforgivable.
That was the most fucked up I've ever seen him. He had the fucking Canola Oil!
she genuinely believed that kangaroos are a cross between a deer and a T-rex
also had sex in his sister's princess style bunk bed.
but you are a princess that one was appropriate.
Also, don't forget your plan to die young at a shrooms-fueled orgy.
I am passing the whore torch on to you my friend. Do me proud
I should have robbed the cradle years ago. Turns out 21 year old boys can cum and still fuck me silly a minute later. My vagina feels like it just won a car from Oprah!
If I have put a neon “vacancy” sign on my skirt for him to get the picture I will.
Randomize
