the fair has chocolate covered bacon...impossible is nothing.
Found a left over fake Olympic medal from our party last weekend. Awarded it to a random girl in the bar last night. Its the only thing she was wearing this morning when she woke up at my place.
I voted for him because his wife supports his raging sex life.
Apparently she saw two women get in a slapping match over a comforter at target yesterday. She said it was awesome. Clearly I take after her.
I really am. The stoner chick wants to get a python.
I can't even tell you how many rave sticks I tore apart with my teeth last night.
Want to come over and play therapist and then fuck all the emotion away?
My way of showing team usa support, bronze: handy silver: bj gold: home run. God, I'm patriotic
Sadly he is straight as an arrow that is designed by a robot computer from the future with lasers.
This saddens me. Mostly because I want to see the schematics on that robot.
I thought he was having it in Athens. Alright. Have fun. Please save my dignity and refrain from talking about my boobs and sexual "abilities". If I have any. I just feel like they are going to ask. Repeat after me. And repeat it 5 more times. This is going to be the phrase you're going to rely on tonight: "I can neither deny or confirm such actions."
Nope, had to pee on the side got violated by tall grass. Then someone came around the corner and I had to stop mid pee to dive into the car.. Pants down
Do you hit a new low in life when you have to carry around a puke bag in your purse when you're hungover?
Dry heaving on campus is my new low. Also, go pats
i was so unappreciative the bar was giving out sweatbands UNTIL I casually used it during sex.
There's a random table in the kitchen...and it's not the kitchen table...we don't know where it came from
Randomize
