I'd suck a dick for hot wings now. A metaphoric dick that is
I've been sucking dick for sushi for weeks now...hasn't worked yet :P
He spelled "beautiful" wrong in his text
i just watched kanye west and taylor swift have a chugging contest. why cant halloween be every day
Just role played anchorman. And yes, I did take her to pleasure town.
So my game is weak??
If your game is "Lets have sex, and maybe pizza" then yes.
I just snuked. Sneezed and puked
Was I shouting at a fire engine last Friday?
This is the point in ur life where u should realize there's nothing left but a spiral of shame
I should but I don't. All I see is an escalator of success
Although I feel like awkward kinda describes your entire sexual history...
You are so lucky you didn't go back to Tate's house. They decided to figure out who had the biggest balls... I was the judge
she doesn't even know what year it is. She just stumbles around life with a bottle of rum
Chasing my kid around a 30' jungle gym was not how I envisioned spending the day off work to recover from a vasectomy.
I think I pulled a muscle in my tongue.
sorry? thank you? I love you?
He wanted to watch a Charlie Brown thanksgiving. But I was like, fuck that, I'm a grown up. So we watched jumanji and I sucked his dick.
Best neighbors ever! They found the guy ive been wanting as a booty call and got me invited to the party the guy was at and gave me alcohol so i could be tipsy when met him. im never moving.
Randomize
