You're never going to guess who I just worked out next to..
Who?
Chris brown
No way... I bet he was intense
Are you kidding? He was prob training for round two
Never name a vibrator after ashton kutcher
we used that portable toilet as a cooler to keep coronas. next person who tells me hospitals arn't fun needs to come party in rm 180.
we got our roommate high for the first time. He went into his room alone and watched Malcolm in the middle for three hours
Do you know how hard it is to masturbate with a runny nose?
I'm bringing in a picture of a stranger on facebook to get my haircut. I have reached a new level of creepy.
She fell onto my light and broke all four plants. I don't care how good the blowjob was.
When I was in the bathroom and wiped with a paper towel I found in the trashcan, I realized that this might be the reason I have a yeast infection.
I just watched the lion king for the first time in years. It's like the equivalent of a really good blow job.
its warm now so i can go back to sleeping with guys based on their fuckability rather than how much warmth they generate.
Get here, there are important joints to be smoked and pies to be eaten
Haha its fine we ask know it. He's still cool thought
Focus on the keyboard man. Focusssss
I was so high the sounds of a cricket drove me out of my home at 4am.... Boo that fucking cricket
That dude with the beard walked up to me, turned my water into wine with everclear and kool-aid, and walked away. Pretty sure drunk Jesus is back.
to be fair i didnt know she wanted to sleep with me
WHY THE FUCK ELSE WOULD SHE DRAG A STRAIGT MAN INTO A VICTORIA'S SECRET CHANGEROOM GODDAMMIT
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