Then we started crawling around on the floor because we couldn't get up so decided to be tigers instead. Gotta love power hour.
i just did my hair and make up to walk our dogs.. I hate being the single roommate
you decided to have a spaghetti fight but then you got greedy and decided to eat it all.
Did I show you my penis last night?
you are not perverted enough for this relationship to work out.
Although, to be fair, I am both willing and going to lick marshmallow fluff off of your dick.
At what point during this road trip should I let them know I've been drinking in the backseat the whole time and can't take my turn driving?
I'm sorry I make you whore yourself out to him everytime I'm drunk and want mcdonalds.
I'm amazed your boyfriend is still with you, how do you manage to pee on him while he is holding you in his lap?
Yes she was blowing me but I couldnt see her face. The only light was from the sparklers she asked me to hold. I love 4th of July.
Wet should excavate the hamsters out of the front yard n give them a proper burial.
You ever just SEE a guy and know he's good at choking someone out?
It's 3 am.
it's 1:30pm and i'm eating cheese while i sext. i need hobbies
Idk, but the girl in his story had really nice eyebrows and was singing The Climb. How about you CLIMB the fuck away from my man
FORGET THE EYEBROWS
might I remind you I fucked a 21 year old and almost did coke with strangers? you definitely came out on top
Randomize
