The next morning she woke up and asked who I was and where she was.
I understand how i shit in my shoes, but explain why you were wearing them.
Can we have fireworks this year or will the ocean explode?
I woke up because I was nodding to the dream question of "would you like a sombrero?"
He was going nice and slow, then he yelled " BOONNEESTOORRMM!!!!!". I can't walk straight.
You just kept saying "I want my babies to look like you."
He brought a jar of pickles to the party. So now I've had beer, animal crackers, AND a pickle since noon.
I just masturbated while eating dinner. Now who's the lazy one
I have come to realize that my purpose in life is less musical and more as a filter of alcohol into water.
im destined to be single forever. i hope its okay if your kids come and hang out with my cats.
I'm stealing this baby.
Well I always support illegal activity but where would you put it?
Soooo fucked this chick last night! While fucking she started talking into the fan on the side of my bed. Does that count as sex with a robot
Why the fuck is there a picture of us jumping a girl that's wearing my chicken mask?
May he have a McRib induced stroke and lose the feeling in his tastebuds.
at least he now gets to tell people how he once threw a party so epic that the next day they had to clean some girl's body paint off the ceiling
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