Di me a solid and hit me with your car.
i mean really, i cant compete with a cucumber
i think he just uses that whole "grew up in a castle" thing to get pussy
If im going to fail a midterm I might as well be drunk while I do it
I just saw that your im name has '4eva' in it. Your man card has been revoked.
Apparently i just threw up in the bathroom, i told them i just blew my nose. i don't think they believe me...
We are casual work acquaintances that occasionally fuck when the urge strikes. CWATOFWTUS. I know FWB rolls off the tongue better but it is what it is.
I think I'm about to have sex with a second person before noon hehehhe! You're welcome America.
At what point would you like us to save you from yourself?
And for some reason I just want to have sex with EVERYTHING
....I feel like you are deciding whether or not I'm good enough for you based on what I ordered from Chipotle.
If God invented something better than rough, drunken, lesbian sex he kept that shit to himself.
I'm currently on a bowling date with my girlfriend and her boyfriend. It's pretty fun.
I'm a lady. Ladies do NOT hump the floor.
We drunkenly made out once four years ago and then he immediately vomited and honestly I've never gotten over him
Randomize
