dude i dont realllllly have to fuck her do i? its just a mess down there and i think im gonna cry
just got a rotting pancake and bacon in the mail from your address....
When i walked in, you were in bed with a hot chick rolled up in a green blanket and said you were acting like a caterpillar..
I'm not saying he has herpes, I'm just saying he slept with my friend that has herpes.
You were telling me to give my phone mouth to mouth so it wouldn't die.. Should i be worried for you?
hes a good boy he deserves a good blow
Europeans suck. I just gave him head and somehow i am the one paying for the coffee
I was basically shocked at how calmly you accepted my violently shoving a french fry in your mouth.
Come to my pity party. It's being hosted in my basement. The theme is ambiguously sexual cuddling and wine.
I now have a other guy willing to drive 3 hours for my vagina. At my next gyno appointment I'm asking her if there's cocaine in there.
You were silly, high, and chewing on things.
I'm no doctor but I don't think balls are supposed to look like that.
I should've known a straight guy wouldn't know all the words to Moana
Gatorade without vodka just doesn't taste the same
Just think how much she’ll hate me when she finds out I fucked her father
Randomize
