So what does a sober person do in Vegas on a Friday night?
I like how my family gatherings are basically an ugly sweater party just with better beer and wine...
Gonna post on craigs list missed connections - "I was that really drunk bitch that threw up in your car. I'd like to pay for detailing"
Dude totally calling you out on watching when harry met sally on netflix on demand on april 8th.
Just gave a urinal high five to a complete stranger. Might not be such a bad night after all
i dont care how hungover you are, go back to the frat house and get him. HE IS 11.
Ive yelled into your vagina. There are few lines we haven't crossed at this point.
pretty sure that drunk girl we saw climbing the stairs is now DJing this club....
my professor saw me buying beer for the super bowl and said go patriots. thats how i know im getting an A in his class.
In that case, I'll try 2 find a date. But my options are AA friends or fuck buddies.
There's a bus with a band full of dancing women in bras. I think I like it here.
Yeah to go race car driving with a 54 yr old gastroenterologist. I really wish you'd come to have that drink with me Wednesday
is it bad that I see hot guys I wanna sleep with as challenges instead of actual people?
yes. but it works for you
Unexpected pro of the hostel though: literally down the street from Coors Field. I could literally fart on the building in five minutes.
Saw my doctor at the bar. He bought me a drink. I think he was looking up my medical record on his phone because he suddenly had to go. syphilis continues to fuck with my life
Randomize
