I'm sorry that you just had your first misguided homo experience
woke up with 15 BAGS of hot dog buns in my passenger seat... jameson strikes again
I don't want to smoke with her when she's on adderall. She carved her pumpkin for four hours & didn't say a word.
she gave me one of those friendship bracelets and said as long as I wore it it was like an all-access pass to her vagina
That is correct. I did in fact somehow pass out in the tanning booth for over an hour. And yes the attendant did have to open it up and shake me awake.
Remember when I peed in the trash can in the ATM room last night?
Never thought I'd say this, but thank god for my blackouts.
THAT FUCKER WASTED TWO OF MY COLORED CONDOMS! HE DIDN'T EVEN FUCKING FINISH IN IT HE JUST SLAPPED IT ON AND WASTED IT!
Just casually ripping a bowl in the chicken coop, with the chickens. NBD
I thought I was pretty much sober now but then I realized I've been eating scrambled eggs with my hands...
I got my eyebrow ring humped out. How is that even possible?
A blind guy just told me that even he could see i was gay and encouraged me to chat up the girl behind that counter bc he thinks we'd make a cute couple. Are all Canadians this helpful?!
I might as well walk around wearing a sandwich board and accept the fact that I'm dying single.
I'm trying to find some better sex background music so his neighbors don't hate us. This is tedious.
She's blowing me while I'm watching air jaws. I love shark week.
My first love was gay too, it's okay.
Randomize
