its great to know that you distinguish your relationships on whether you can cum on someone's face
Well yea but it's the principle of the thing.. The fact that he could actually BE your daddy
Sounds good! I plan on writing a book entitled: I've Probably Done Cocaine In Your Bathroom. A tell-all by Lauren.
There's strippers and bear every where so ether you gave me the wrong address or this is the coolest birthday party thrown for a seven year old ever.
How bad is it if you swallow a really small piece of glass? Be optimistic if possible I'm anxious about it.
I ate her out for so long I might actually shit a vagina
An old lady WILL get vomited on today.
We were escorted through the guys dorm by 5 kids with nerf guns and zelda shields. I felt like the president with a fucked up secret service squad.
You can laugh all you want but 99 grapes is a lot stronger than what you were drinking.
maybe if I avoid him long enough we could skip the talking part of "we need to talk"
How much booze could a drunk brad chug when a drunk brad does chug booze?!?
All. The answer is always all
You know you're gay when you have to have your coworkers explain to you why your bracket is terrible
Do you remember when I didn't post that pic of you fucking an avocado on your boss' desk? Can you return the favour?
This is not a drill. I need a cape. And a tuxedo. Simultaneously. Repeat. NOT. A. DRILL....
Sorry I didn't have my phone all night. Did we hang last night?
You bit me
Oh lord I need to hear this story
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