I jusy said out loud "gingers unite in the middle of the night"
well you can't waste a boner
So...it's hour 4 of day 5 of week 7 of my internship, and so far all ive done is shred paper. all. day. long. it's like working for Enron.
On a scale of 1 to last weekend, how hungover are you?
I returned the dress. When they asked for the reason for return I said, 'I don't deserve to wear white'.
As a matter of principle, I waited until noon to start the drinking binge.
I gurantee you I'll be the only one dressed as a giraffe.
No i peed with you in the toilet. The guy I high fived was mid pee in front of the urinal
Would it be weird if I told you I thought of you when I masturbated?
Looks like I'm more than just your Mexico mistake...
If there's so much of a hint of a whisper from somebody I didn't tell personally, I will cut off your balls with a chainsaw, cauterize the wound with a flaming rusty spoon, feed your balls to your dog, and feed them to you when he shits them out, capiche?
When you sober up and come in here, I'm in your bed because you pissed on me in mine. So fuck. Off.
He told her Jesus wouldnt yell curse or degrade her. He'd just simply shake his head and slap the shit out of her
It was like something out of a fucked up fairy tale. He just crowdsurfed over to her while riding a keg, said "come sail with me", and then the crowd carried them off into the night. What.
I'm not gonna lie. The only reason I haven't drank a whole bottle of crown tonight is because we only had 3/4 of a bottle left.
We did hand stuff while watching teenage mutant ninja turtles so I guess you could say it's getting serious
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