I spilled a beer on myself, so I went back to my place to change. The city marshall was at my door with a warrant. That beer cost me 760 bucks.
i need a lesbian romance or unplanned pregnancy for some spicein my life.
I give him blow jobs while he watches sports.. how am I not his gf yet??
We had to introduce ourselves in ethics class. This guy stood up said I'm mark, I love sluts and Jack. Then just sat back down. Hero status.
Girls night always turns into let's seperate and get laid night.
considering how much of last night I don't remember and the amount of ones laying on my desk right now, it's safe to say I'm concerned
I'd appreciated it if you didn't lick my boyfriends face again. I'm askin nicely. Thank you.
The heaters out again. Makin a fire in thebroke toilet for warmth.
Why are you seriouly talking to me about this when there naked pics of blake lively on the internet? Priorities man...
Also you know what's worse than drunk texting? Drunk leaving soup on your hot neighbor's porch.
Welcome to the first annual slutathon and let the men be ever in our favor
We decided this year instead of not participating in Halloween at all we are going to hand out free beers to the parents.
Dude, Donte totally wants it. I don't have any idea how I do it. I'm not even cool. I'm not even the hero Gotham deserves. I'm barely high. My hands are swelling. Want me to pick you up anything from five guys?
I just put on my phone calendar to remind me of my final child support payment in 2029
after stripping the bed and soaking it with the "pet spot remover" I have, I decided in the best interest of my mattress and our drunk friends bladders, i should invest in rubber sheets.
Randomize
