just printed 333 ways to get kicked out of wal-mart. hello thursday night.
After me and my boyfriend broke up I had to resist the temptation to send a mass text to my booty calls saying "thank you for your patience. it will be rewarded."
Just pulled over to throw up in a day care parking lot while the kids were outside playing. The adults were mortified.
Please get rnbert tn get chebk h'm in i'm no dead when he getr gome
Were taking his cast off tonite. Need a saw and a gameplan. Meet us at rosies in 30.
I'm in class. I'm not opening a page with the words "death erection" in the link. There's people behind me lol.
I want to hump her dimples until her face caves in.
So many issues. You honestly need help.
I'm here to help build your repertoire of drunken shenanigans and I should have been arrested stories
So hung over, I told one of the candidates she's hired if we can turn the lights off and take a nap instead of doing her interview. I feel like she has potential.
In complete seriousness I think I am the highest person on earth
The second time he came it projectile shot in my ear
We were in a spooning position and it shot all the way up. He was like sorry. Physics.
Next time you're baked eat baked beans and potato chips together. Like dip them in the beans. It's so good
How many ballsacks did you see last night because I saw eight
I masterbated poison ivy onto my penis, it hasn't been this upset with me since the Take one for the team fiasco of 02.
Are you still passed out in my back seat, or do I need to come find you?
Randomize
