I don't think anyone has ever said "boy I'm glad I took those shots of everclear" when they wake up
This can't be good. I've realized that I weigh less in the morning after I have had a blackout drunk night than when I work out and eat healthy.
He told me his penis would be a "Sad Panda" if I didn't give it a ride through the jungle.
She was giving you that "I really want to blow you but I have to act professional" look. Guaranteed
So, do you ever feel like EVERY SINGLE ONE OF YOUR FRIENDS IS INVOLVED IN A MASSIVE AND INTRICATE CONSPIRACY TO COCKBLOCK YOU AT ALL COSTS?
It's safe to say that bucket of tequila night can NEVER HAPPEN AGAIN.
woke up to find i out made out with his roommate before hooking up with him. breakfast was awkward to say the least
What's an appropriate outfit for wearing to hangout with a girl you've talked to once, and had a 4way with?
moral of my life: don't tell a guy you want to have sex with him. he'll get back together with his ex.
I recall trading my iPhone watch for a carton of Marlboros.
He just stopped me mid blow job so he could text his wife asking for TacoBell.
you left your anal beads in the dishwasher
I didn't even respond. Just letting the crazy settle before I calmly fuck his shit up.
Crying while I'm pooping. I think this is rock bottom
Does having sex in an airport bathroom with a girl you just met at the bar count as the mile high club? ...no?
Randomize
