dunno bout you, but i grow tired of beef curtains
sometimes you just have to masturbate at your friend's house.
I heard that if you win you get to have sex with me. You guys really need to stop wagering my vagina.
I hope to God 2011 is the year I stop loving tequila.
the cops who came hadnt heard yet. when we told them they sang the star spangled banner with us
no, forget the keg and come see this. prego pants here is dunking chicken nuggets into pudding and crying over a cat show on animal planet.
i convinced her i need a blow job every morning to wake up because i have a medical condition.
you were exchanging tortilla chips with the guy at the next table, telling him your table was given the "big chips" because it was your 21st birthday
The amount of alcohol I'm going to consume on my birthday is directly proportional to the amount of shit I've had to put up with this past year. Which is a lot.
this year we will have multiple halloween identities. lesbian couple meets brian and stewie
Is it a problem if I'm trying to condition Goodbye Horses to trigger an erection?
I've never SEEN someone give negative fucks before. It's actually rather impressive. I want to study under them.
unless you want this visit to have a different tone... more romantic, less molly in a hotel room
He said when the pizza came I zip locked one slice and went to the couch and snuggled with it. Does that give you an idea of how my night was?
I basically spent the entire weekend in bed with that red head.Every time I tried to leave she got me too horny to think straight. I was kidnapped by vagina
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