there's a guy here who looks like a hipster got a hold of obama and gave him a makeover.
I needed to borrow my dads nail clippers and next to it was an industrial size box of condoms if that wasnt bad enough I dropped the clippers behind the bed and discovered hundreds of used condoms
I wasn't excited about it either, but if I was going to have her take a load on her face, role playing as some french dude is the least I could do
At lowes after workin outside. Kid behind me says "mommy that man smells like a taco" yes she was talking about me.
I just saw a license plate that said "Guidete" at college. This proves the world is officially ending in 2012
Dude...disintegrating condoms. Think about it. For all the guys that wanna go raw dog but their girls won't let them, and for the girls that wanna get pregnant but their guys don't want a kid. What do you think?
I think you've been hitting the soco too hard again.
We started hooking up and a group of freshmen outside my window started chanting my name. Encouraging yet distracting
Just saw some guy puking out of the dorm window, its for sure monday
How are YOU going to look? Buying 40's on Christmas eve.
How is it I was the last to know everyone calls me tig ole bitties? Did y'all have a meeting about this that I wasn't invited to?
Throwing up in the car while my mom drives, sister holds the bag & my dad holds my hair. This is how my family bonds.
it was her dad's 50th birthday kegger. Within the first 5 minutes I got punched in the ear from an off-duty cop and smoked a joint the size of my vibrator.
oh yeah, and she got boxed-out by said cop. Then her dad turned around and high-fived him for it
I've decided if you aren't here in fifteen minutes I'm leaving you for Mario the 75 year old Colombian bartender.
Just renamed the subject of my sex list on my phone "grocery list" just in case anyone comes across it
this poor kid thinks hes going to have his first time with both of us
Randomize
