Just realized the hot girl at the office got a boob job over the Holiday.....she is now super-hot girl.
You nicknamed her "lazy eye" and were screaming across the bar at her to buy you a drink...
Ive been tazing him too get him immuned. He will be unstopable.
When I try to close my eyes ibwant to puke. Going to the basement to watch pocohantas. That'll keep myeyes open. And puke free.
I'm pretty sure we put the facepaint on during whippets
i just remember explaining why my socks were better than everyone elses.
Apparently the Massachusetts Bay Transit Authority severely looks down on Chinese firedrills on a public bus
Yeah but the people love.
i would compare it to sliding down a velcro-covered fireman's pole naked. no more bearded men for me.
I found us a new booze connection and I'm writing college admissions essays. The future is bright.
Grandma's bordering on serious shit show territory at this point.
Drunk me commented on almost all of her pictures. My favorite one is titled "be as the sea". My comment is "cold, rough, large and letting anyone come inside you. you accomplished." Guessing I'm not invited to the party anymore.
Why the fuck was I face down on the floor with you mounting me like a horse anyway? I'm so confused
i could only love him more if he was covered in glitter.
But I’m still curious to know... how did the homemade porno go?
The neighbors ahemed the WHOLE time. Their kids are the ones that scream loud enough for me to remember my birth control. It's payback!
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