What did I say to him last night?
Something along the lines of "your not here, I'm going to fuck sam. call me later babe, this won't take long, love you"
all in all not a bad night
Sorry for scaring your son with my drunken animal impressions
so does the 200 for rent and 150 for utilities include the never telling my boyfriend about the guys i bring home.. or is that extra?
His kisses tasted like beef jerky and captain morgan. I'm pretty sure I came before he even took my clothes off.
told our landlord the hole in the wall was from your head during drunk sex..
how did he take it?
not as well as i would have thought
Hey so when you left last night was i wearing shoes?
You had two tasks: \n1) put on a condom \n2) text me so I don't walk in on you \nIt really isn't that hard
Is it wrong i wouldn't sleep with him because his boxers said #1 dad all over them?
Everybody needs breakup sex. You just happened to get yours from a dude who hasn't reached the point of breakup yet. No biggie.
Can we both just take a day off just to have sex? Is that acceptable as an adult?
I refuse to believe you if you're trying to tell me humanity as a whole isn't sad, tired, and craving Chinese food.
At one point I believe I was despencing medical advice while wearing a sombrero and a hulk hand
She looks like a character that batman would try to kill, or something.
I should probably apologize for licking you last night since you drove me home, but I stand by my decision
Mom just walked in on a bj. IT'S WHATEVER.
Randomize
