imagine a blue Jetta with an ILLINOIS license plate that read JISLORD..... upon pondering it for 10minutes I came to the conclusion that J stood for JESUS and IF the license plate had enough room it would read "Jesus Is Lord"
i am officially better prepared for a hangover tomorrow than i was for christmas.
dude your girlfriend is running naked down the hall with a raw chicken taped to her stomach saying this is what I'll look like pregnant...run far far away
Wow, haven't had to deal with the 'stoned at the dinner table' scenario in a while
Well let's just say that she ended up trying to get it in with the wheelchair guy, who btw, can get an erection and quickly I might add
It seems like every guy I've hooked up with all end up hanging out together, its like a cult.
Was having a panic attack, but I'm out of xanax. Substituting with vodka shots and breathing exercises. My therapist will be proud, yes?
Seriously, I am going to crawl in a hole, sew my vagina shut, and spit acid on any man that comes near me.
So many gingers... It's like a beacon went out that said "this one is ok with red hair"
i think i just asked a donut if it was ok
I was desperate and wasn't about to let my cereal get soggy so I ate it on the toilet. Don't let me repeat last night.
😂😂😂 what are we doing to these poor guys?!
Maintaining the status quo.
How many hotdogs are you going to eat today?
THE LIMIT DOES NOT EXIST.
You're the only person I know who's experienced a micropenis and a magnum XL penis
honestly, you deserve someone taller anyways
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