I'm talking like I woke up and her bra was spinning around caught on my ceiling fan
It's never good when you wake up covered with burns
it's kind of slutty but what the hell, so are we
On a scale of one to everyone dying I say let's aim for a 7
I have a strict rule of what enters my vajay. It's either sparkly, or human. Anything else and I draw the line. Standards.
Oh my goodness please please please my inner slut needs some pampering, shes getting rusty and nothings worse than a rusty slut
I think mark twain said that originally
Go for it! You're young. Have fun. Be somebody's expensive hobby like Anastasia Steele.
Also I just sneezed literally 12 times in a row so violently...boogers everywhere. Sorry to ruin the sexting. I just felt like you had to know
Dude respond to my evite. You're either coming to the orgy or not.
I apparently pulled his dick out at the bar and started yelling "DICK PICS IN REAL LIFE!"
He sent me a snap of him eating a tamale shirtless. I think I might be in love.
LOCK HIM DOWN.
We fucked. Had a political debate. I won. So I sat on his face.
Twas still the Saturday before Christmas \nAnd it’s still fucking snowing\nAnd Steve wished he slowed down \nOn all the fucking drinking
Masturbated while waiting for my face mask to dry, so it was a productive night.
You know you're drunk when you have to be picked up out of a bathtub.
Randomize
