Ever have a poop and think... that has no business coming out of a human? Like it looks like a sick dog's or a ferral animal's?
oh ps. last night you kept telling me to calm down because everything was fine cause you were getting "arab money"...
I'm drunk at a gay bar with my riding crop. God save the queens
Dude, it could be so much worse. That Dale kid lost a toe I think.
You better be making out with him cause we're sitting here with this awkward british girl watching videos of goats singing maroon five
Sexual Frustration City, population: Me.
I just tried to give a picture of a dude a blowjob. through my computer screen. I was leaning forward with my mouth open and everything so WALK AWAY
You suck at answering, but you did manage to avoid a fun conversation about hemorrhoids. So maybe you're great at answering.
Today is a shit your pants at work kinda day
Also. I think I just got sentimental over a nude
Being pregnant feels like you have a hangover everyday.. Don't listen to what anyone says about how wonderful it is
I plan to try out my new vibrator and watch Star Trek: The Next Generation. It's a busy night.
Why can't he just dump me? This is like a baby seal clubbing the hunter
He asked me to fly out to Seattle to participate in a week of marathon sex so I'm at the airport now. I'll call you when I get back.
If I could I'd magically teleport drugs and alcohol to you. Like a bad decision fairy.
I woke up saran wrapped to a chair....
Randomize
