im too high. i could barely wash my hair, let alone handle a whole shower
my history teacher totally just suggested that we record his lectures and play drinking games with them later so that we pay attention to the material.
When he came he kept saying "oh god oh god" and he sounded just like his dad. awkward...
vodka bottle broke. scooping it out of the plastic tub with a shot glass into a sprite bottle using a ziplock bag as a funnel and straining the glass out with paper towels. good thursday night?
I told them I got hit by a car again and now im pretty sure they think im being abused but there was no way in hell the truth was going to fly. Employed people aren't supposed to break their faces in piggy back ride accidents.
Called Jeff last night and told him I wanted to have sex in the airport terminal. Blackout Brooke definitely came out last night.
I am so hung over a medically induced coma is beginning to sound appealing.
I also just told a guy I was available for counseling in case he needed to 'bang' things out. I've become a monster.
I mentioned your name at this party and some girl started crying.
Where are you in relation to the mariatchi band?
God if that man would just have sex with me every time I got mad life would be so much easier...
I have to go buy generic plan b after work. I don't even leave for the new semester for another 11 days. I think I just leveled up in sluttiness
And now let us go forth, and be garbage people in public.
Isn't that our default mode?
im about to bake her parents a "thank you for making such beautiful babies, ive had sex with all 5 of them" cake
YOU FUCKED THE DARE INSTRUCTOR DIDN'T YOU?
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