On a scale of 1 to 10 how hot is the girl you're about to fuck?
Strong 6
That's an oxymoron.
Drawing dicks in the frost on people's windshields is a rare joy I allow myself while walking to my 8 AM class.
Last night when I was hammered I set a reminder to tell you that your boobs are my favorite ones in the world, so this is me giving you that message.
Pretty much knew it was gonna be awful when the extra condoms she had from her ex were entirely too big for my dick
He called the drink "The Annexation of Puerto Rico". He wouldn't tell us whats in it but said that we should all fear for our lives. Let's do this.
I can always make him wear a mask... I'll tell him it's a fetish.
What's grosser: using a dirty sex towel as an oven mitt? or using the oven to reheat superbowl bean dip for dinner?
So far, my day has been sparkling with the tears of a thousand rainbow unicorns. I'd say this is quality shit you've grown.
I'm just going to lay in a blanket cocoon of self pity for the next few months.
Is this a drinking picnic?
Is there another kind?
I just got stoned alone and repierced my nose. don't ever tell me I'm unaccomplished
I just got stoned by myself and am eating cookies so I'm right there with you
Worst case: you're extra horny, have no control of your mouth or actions, and maybe murder someone. Child's play.
sober me thinks like you do. drunk me needs sober me's advice. am i allowed to go to his house?
Today, this cop risk his life to save me from a sink hole but all I could do is laugh, I was so stoned
There's a point in life when you've got to take dick like a big girl.
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