Dude I think you forgot how to talk last night. We kept asking if you wanted a condom and you just smiled and made weird noises...
the Monday before Thanksgiving is not a Monday at all. Just Thursday in Monday suit.
He yelled "HERE COMES THE WARMTH" before he pissed his pants. In front of the whole party.
You found Muppets From Space a little too intense, so you just sorta sat on the ground and stared at the wall plug for an hour and a half.
every time i wear that dress i get kicked out of a bar.
I plan on gettn treatment center drunk
Oh you know, watching its always sunny and petting his cat and NOT fucking. I'm starting my whorefree 2012 resolution early.
I'm drunk at a gay bar with my riding crop. God save the queens
Who knew drunk me could climb a 17 story building for apple juice and sex
We see some guy emerge from the forest on the island this morning, alone, in only a snuggie. Morning shots and bagels on us for the number one walk of shame.
The boat wouldn't start, so we brought it back to her house and we've been sitting in it in her driveway for the past 5 hours drinking beer and yelling at peoplee.
I don't know his last name, but he's in phone as Pat the conqueror.
I see your boobs were ready to greet the new year.
I'm not in it for just the sex. If I wanted mediocre dick once a week I would have stayed with one of my exes.
she just kept pointing at the cows and calling them field penguins
Randomize
