Locked eyes w/ her at mainstreet, and said 'yeah yeah get it!' From there we started violently making out on the dancefloor (I had a FULL boner, ps) and then I got her number
I thought Christmas was going to come before I did
Jason Williams (yeah the ex-nets center...) drunkenly told me that, while drinking, I should take an ambien and a cialis before i go home...that will "give me a 25 minute window to have sex and then goto sleep before the bitch starts bothering me"....
i should start naming my morning wood
great idea but wrong number
you know how i said i wouldn't send that pic message of your lofted bed falling from you fucking a fat chick? that was after i sent it to your mom
rubbing her clit was like playing thumb war
I'm currently bartering with this guy so I can fuck his bi girlfriend. We're at 5 pizzas and he gets to watch us make-out.
Its not low standards. We're more of like a self esteem camp for average girls
Seriously your house is like the underground railroad for unwanted gay kids
well that's what you get for sleeping with a guy called 'the defiler'
Thank you, BTW, for defiling my bed. Glad it was done well.
If you can't trust the person at the taco cabana drive thru, who can you trust?!
You're emotionally mature, right? I said you were.
I have at least four things in my line of sight that have Kermit the Frog on them in my dorm. Does that answer your question?
Yeah. 11 people shoved in a clown car for a 1 hour party. I'm too old for house parties.
My last one night stand called me today. Apparently I gave him a yeast infection in his mouth. Not sure how I should feel about this.
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