wow, i just saw a girl period all over the floor. get my shoes
This is how scared I get when I ride roller coasters. And how scared I was when I had to poop when I had herpes.
Can you please check on Jay? He just called and left a Backstreet Boys song on my voicemail. Either it's 1998, or someone needs to go back to rehab.
I don't know if you realize how depressing it is to get your card denied....when you're only spending $4.
$1.99 mimosas n bloodys til 3. Happy hour starts at 4. We're gonna ride the mechanical bull to kill the hour inbetween.
Please take video.
They were loudly fucking last night and there was way too much conversation involved. It wasn't even dirty talk, it was more like "your doing it wrong" talk
Drink a bottle I wine by yourself? Treat yo self
I just feel like I'm worth a little bit more than your recycled nudes...
Had a slight melanoma scare this morning. Spoiler alert, it was Nutella.
I woke up with "To whom it may concern" sharpied on my dick
I just got back like 5 minutes ago, I have two champagne bottles that I carried with me on the train home and a Dunkin donuts coffee cup full of stolen butter, I've been in a windowless room for the last 6 hours, time does not exist
what is your life
Free champagne that's what
PS if you want to hear something hilarious as my little sister was showing me her engagement ring I open a Snapchat from R and it's literally a dick pic. Very different points in our life
So nothing to worry about, but i'm probly going to jail soon, just thought i should let you know so you didn't worry. Bye!
....even the bartender was embarrassed for her
I may just have to resign myself to life in flats. He's a sexy little chipmunk that worships me.
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