i luv seein jocks study. its like watching monkeys masturbate.
Girls behind me in the library are trying to outslut each other with stories from last semester. I'm about to set my cock on the table between them and label it "tie breaker"
are any of them hardcore sluts...just absolute worthless human beings? if not the paper wins
Doctor said I have sports induced asthma.
Call me old fashioned, but around here we call that "out of shape."
12 garbage cans filled with water, a beer can floating in every garbage can, 20 ft. apart and you shoot with dodge balls..and thats only how the night began
I still think it's messed up that you're naming your kids after all the guys you slept with in college
It's like the sisterhood of the traveling vaginas over here
I poured somre cereal, realized the chocolate to flake ratio was off, tried to fix it by digging through the box, gave up because of the difficulty level, and poured it back in the box. Being high is the best diet.
Oh, and one of the worst parts... his name was Mario. I fucked a Nintendo character.
Orientation leader success, day 1: incoming freshman just ate out his first sorority girl. I gave him a 7/10.
You threw a handful of caps into a pitcher of Heineken and asked everyone if they wanted to go "bobbing for molly"
Sitting on the toilet ... Eatin pizza with one hand, petting my cat with the other. I love a sad drunken life
See, this is why you don't do nice things for people. You'll get stuck in the snow and you won't catch a dick.
not that i'm not about exploiting men for money
only 3 drinks in and he showed me his fursuit, please come pick me up
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