last night i told the bartender i only have 3 days left to live so i wouldnt have to pay for drinks
this morning i woke up with a nothing but a pair of what i believe are fairy wings on - and the bartender in my bed
he thinks ill be dead by monday and still came home w me.. WTF?
messed up. what color are the wings?
That's what you get for not wearing a bra and jumping on a trampoline
I basing my decision on whether or not to date someone on whether I could imagine having sex with them sober
I need some transition time from spring break.. can we day drink between classes this week?
Please fuck him. And then let me tell her. And then let me protect you from the knife she pulls from her Ed Hardy purse. Please.
I just remembered our "im drunk enough to look at your vagina" conversation. Is that offer still valid? I really think I need a second opinion
Like fighting the continuous urge to sing Neil diamond "coming to America" kinda fucked up right now
I left my bra and a book at his place. He's a hot Scandinavian who is into physics and computers - had to step up my game.
I still think he fell and scraped his elbow and lost his credit card buying 8 hot chocolates for hobos
You got Broadway Drunk, dude. I haven't heard you sing "Music Of The Night" like that since the last time I was holding you up on the way to the subway at two in the morning.
You can not love someone based on who they were when they were 9. Does he know how many dicks I've sucked since then?
so in addition to the two guys I slept with last night, and the third that I turned down this morning, a fourth has appeared. best Valentine's Day ever.
Cocaine is ok on a cleanse, right?
Ran into my FWB on my walk of shame and went back to her place. Even my walk of shames are awesome!!!
What's the weirdest place you've ever had sex?
I don't think you're psychologically prepared for this conversation.
Randomize
