i never knew gatorade would taste just as good on the way back up
Two girls are now jumping in the ocean naked at 10 PM...and I was just starting to hate Ocean City
i guess i had fun last thursday night because when i got on the drunk bus this thursday night everyone immediatley started chanting my name and telling me to do a bus flip
whats a bus flip?
idk but apparently i invented it
i left with the words "thank you for undersanding my sluttiness"
I'm having a flashback of telling a guy that he was beautiful and graceful like a unicorn while playing shuffleboard.
All the alcohol I spilled on myself must have acted as a disinfectant or something. I haven't showered in three days and I still don't have a staph infection from sleeping on the lawn with you.
Chapter 6 - how to lose your underwear in chicago
You are NEVER going to guess whose penis was JUST in my mouth!!!
I'll give you a hint, we ate paste with him in kindergarten.
We had a threesome and he gave us bottle rockets and a lamp for our apartment
My diet has been 80% Fun Dip this week, soooo, no. Not good.
Sexting is killing my work productivity but it's okay because I'm self-employed
Her vagina is like the upper echelon of Scientology and I don't have enough money to get in
You’re sleeping on my couch so you’re not making dick appointments tonight
Tonight is an "I'm lonely and single so I'm going to curl up in a warm, melatonin and vodka enriched ball in the corner of my bed with a cat." kind of night.
Oh btw, ur tongue should count as a second cock it's that good
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