Dude ... paraplegic porn is really creative..
I feel like a combination of david goes to the dentist and drunkest guy ever goes for more beer
at least franzia made me throw up pretty colors.
i don't think my life will be extraordinarily more meaningful if i let him put his tongue in my butthole.
The kid taped his penis down so that he wouldn't get a boner while dancing with girls. Oh these middle school man whores never cease to amaze me.
Man when i saw they were the only ones hard core grinding to the Cha Cha slide against the wall, I knew they were gonna have sex tonight.
It'll be like the burning bush except without moses and with pubes.
I wore a firefighters hat and drank beer all night. They had to drive me home after breaking the beer pong table, they told me I was welcome back tonight though...
Until this weekend, a man hadn't made me orgasm since the night Obama was elected. Now THAT is change I can believe in.
I want a MapMyFart App, where I can mark every spot where I have ripped one. Like here.
You sucked a guys dick who's name was Chad and that wasn't a sign that it was a bad idea?!
Oh yeah and one of the strippers brought you chips and water when you were passes out next to the toilet. So that was nice
I think I'm getting sponsored by the Mexican Drug Cartel for the start of my poker career. It was an interesting night at the bar. One word, Vegas.
I'm too depressed to masturbate. This election is the worst.
Just showered and cleaned every bit of sex off of me cuz i have a feelin my stepmom has jesus powers and would be able to smell it on me
Randomize
