He still wants to giggity, regardless of his girlfriend. So...I guess I'm happy again.
i got turned down by a girl after she saw how big my penis was and she said "thats not goin in me"
New beer pong partner names "Bus Boys" ... We clear tables
i took an adderall last night to write a paper. i ended up watching 7 hours of roseanne and couldn't look away
It was like little house on the drunk prairie.
It's now 3:30 and the guy I went home with is showering me with shredded cheese. Nbd.
i got shots of sambuca dumped on my head last night. my bag still smells like licorice. making me nauseous.
it is a nice little reminder of the bruins dominance. if Vancouver had won, it would somehow smell of maple syrup.
only in a texas roadhouse would someone whistle while I was breastfeeding.
She literally just cut half her hair off because she's tired of asking someone to hold it back when shes drunk and puking.
That place is a DUI and an STD waiting to happen. I think I'll pass.
I woke up last night a kitchen floor with my shirt off and I love America written on my leg in eye liner
it was good, but also weird. like, i came four times and then cried weird.
He corrected my spelling during sexting.
i don't know what happened one minute im stumbling home drunk and the next im drinking pabst and smoking with a french guy ive never met named hugo.
I woke up naked in a tent. I was more upset that the air mattress had deflated.
Randomize
