hey call me
can't. in the shower.
... and this is probably why your phone does not work half the time.
How do I get over judging people who I would be exactly like if I had a boyfriend
Get a boyfriend
So I was watching the View and they were saying oral sex is the new goodnight kiss
So when are we having a sleepover?
Was just practicing flip cup with my NyQuil cup...
Went to use to bathroom and walked in on karaoke. Two girls singing "a whole new world" to each other in the shower. I'm gonna miss this place in the summer
That girl gave me her number because you were arrested. I am so proud of you dude.
I come back home for break and my room is full of weed either my parents really love me or they are having more fun then I am in college
Is it possible to just pretend that everything we did after grilling up your goldfish didn't happen?
One day, tell me please to stop buying shots when I'm overwhelmed. I might have just broken a tooth
It was close. I was the girl scoping out where all the garbage cans were located in the class just in case.
This is why you don't heavily drink before 2 midterms.
I'm really high and I'm watching this show where Gordon Ramsay goes to other people's restaurants and just yells at them about things.
Also I'm at the pub and there are old lady pirates gyrating on a pole. I wish you were here.
My boss followed me on Twitter. Excuse me while I delete 90% of my tweets
HE LITERALLY JUST PEED IN MY ROOM IDK WHAT TO DO HELP
9 am booty call on your ex's birthday. Fuck yea
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