I just watched the Dark knight, Maggie Gylennhaal looks like Katie Holmes after a stroke
so after he got his stomach pumped, he asked for a smoking room.
Come over and play the Jeter 3000 drinking game. You drink if the commentators say "captain" or "3000". I'll drink if they say "overrated" or "past his prime".
There is a large, jolly black gentleman in the parking lot of my appartment complex yelling about 5am jelly doughnuts. I want to be where he's at.
Great way to live...just blowing loads on upholstery
She took the fish and put it in the hot tub, then turned on the jets. She said she was training it for the Olympics.
Just discovered i ordered the nhl center ice package back in september, the operator said there was a note next to the time I called, indicating I may have been intoxicated while calling (no clue why but it was noted)...meaning I was drunk...meaning ill never miss another sabres game...i love me and am beaming with self pride
Every time I someone I meet again from that wedding it turns into the "Oh your the guy who puked in the hallway and passed out in front of the elevator."
"Stranger danger aquaman" were the last words i remember. help me.
Looks like he unfriended you too. I feel like we were both just handed negative pregnancy tests.
Drunk me really does appreciate that sober me made a list of movies to watch when drunk it saves so much time
I took a dab in Denver and was I. Rocky Mountain national park almost to Wyoming before I realized I missed my turn.
You ruined a cute cat because your lack of horniness
where are my eyebrows?
He looked so uninterested when the stripper was slapping him. Now his roommates are harassing me about how crazy our sex must be.
Randomize
