this bucketlist has just become an excuse for me to be slutty, and i'm not even ashamed
I just had a flashback to last nights party, I'm pretty sure I told most of the people there that I post a masturbation schedule for an iCal download.
I'm scared at the amount of beastiality in this conversation.
Just saw a huge group of people walk by in there in their underwear. Too stoned for this.
All I know is I was dancing to Shakira in his alley and I think rubbing my junk on his car door.
I'm sorry. I just realized our 'big night out' ended up being you driving my high ass to get burritos and back.
WHY IS FOOD SO DELICIOUS
BECAUSE SCIENCE
Donald Trump and I would be so adorably orange together!
Omg just opened my passenger side door and my outfit from last night is on the floorboard.
i refuse to give everyone the satisfaction of seeing the results of my acting on my thoughts
I guess that means I was blowing a nerd last week.
And loving it.
I hooked up with a guy named Quan.. I literally hit the Quan
The guy I hooked up with two weeks ago just friended me on Venmo, I honestly won't be mad if he pays me for the sex
So I was dancing on a table with these three girls and my bro. Started to makeout with one and as the song ended I asked what her name was. She said, and I quote, "Nate we hooked up two weeks ago". To which my reply was to lift my beer to bro and proclaim, "RAGE".
Well, fuck this election. I'm getting drunk, regardless of who wins.
Randomize
