My mom foundout about my dui nd just called me to come home. I just took acid like 30 min ago. Wht should i do?
It was like a fairy tale, until he tried to put it in my ass...
He went so fast i didnt even have time to pretend like i was about to have a fake orgasim
he's downstairs watching tv with my family... I called the home line so my mom could bring me my make up bag cause my real face would prob make him delete my number
I have no valid justification for peeing in your kitchen, but I don't think it's worth breaking up over.
remember our old mantra: why can't life be as easy as we are?
Honestly bro, I can't look at girls you've banged. Its like looking herpes in the face.
The cab driver gave me a church card yesterday and said I should reconnect with god.
Then he gave me 2 tickets to a movie he's going to be in
I am disappointed by everyone's lack of ability to dance on a stripper pole:(
If a marine in My bed is not considered a valid excuse for missing class then I don't want to live in America anymore
stop fucking thinking about him when there is A MILLION OTHER PENISES TO RIDE IN THE WORLD
Finding an empty bathroom to shit on campus is like the quest for the fucking Holy Grail. Except with more stench and humiliation.
Only thing that feels right is being horizontal in the fetal position
Lost my pants last night. Really need to stop taking shots of whiskey like I'm eating skittles.
She sent a group text pic called "Assemble" of his dick next to her forearm.
I'm down.
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