You give one guy a hand job and suddenly everyone wants to get with you
when your hometown is famous for abortion clinic bombings, hurricanes, and jude law's newest bastard, its probably time to move.
hahaha Yeah oh well, she wrote on my facebook wall, That's almost like a digital hand job
YOU CAN RENT MIDGETS ON CRAIGS LIST
I told you not to ruin your birthday surprise!
Nobody is wearing shirts anymore. What is happening.
who loves string cheese????? I LOVE STRING CHEESE!!!
you know...if you didn't give such great head little things like this would ruin our friends with benefits relationship.
I just witnessed someone getting head in the parking garage. Don't ever tell me Baylor is too conservative again.
Just asked my dog if he was proud of me for making it home. That drunk.
Hey can we break in your window? We need to borrow the dog.
If we worried less about pouring champagne down stripper crack, we probably wouldn't skip so many meals.
Was last night real? Did I lick your forehead while you laid in between my legs while we laid next to your boyfriend?
People shouldn't leave you two alone together. You're just going to end up having sex.
bullshit you weren't drunk, you pointed at me and said my cigarette was empty
Got to use the phrase "sweet pukas dude." My day is made.
I tried to face swap with Chuck Norris. His face was too powerful... it broke my snap chat.
Randomize
