rainy day on campus = new personal fetish for girls in booty shorts and colorful rain boots
is not sure whether or not everyone at the club last night calling me a-easy is a good thing?
This girl in my class is wearing a sweatshirt that says "LEAD ME NOT INTO TEMPTATION" ahaha I almost just laughed out loud. We could never be friends
I've been watching too much manswers. Cuz i know scissoring doesn't work on a motorcycle.
his mom cheated on his dad so i think he has a weird freudian thing for whores
She apparently grabbed another girl and pulled her into the shower fully clothed. When the girl was like "you need to stop" she curled up into a ball and refused to leave.
Whoa, you know how to pick em.
I'm about to pick up E from underneath a random doormat.......how is this remotely normal?
Have you ever just sat there and thought about past penises?
Your ability to whip out your dick and take a pic anytime I text you is startling.
Here's to not getting arrested this year on thanksgiving again. Cheers bitches!
I asked him to sing a song so he couldn't hear me throwing up as he was holding my hair
Just want the two of you to know, I went to a golf tournament today. Respectable, expensive… Flipped the golf cart. Seriously, I'm 40. What the fuck?
Well, I currently have zero fuckboys and my vibrator just broke. A fresh start to May.
Beer. Pizza. Seething Rage. I will be full of two of these things tonight. You get to decide which two.
I just destroyed that poor boy. Picked him up and put him wherever I wanted, it was like the Pride version of Elf on a Shelf.
Randomize
