It's fine actually... I'm pretty sure he had the crookedest weiner in the world anyway.
Like he had it hanging in the wind and you just decided, "nope, I don't think that one's for me." ????
God no! I could just feel it. His clock said it was 8:00 when, clearly, it should have been midnight.
I think id rather eat ped egg shavings.
i just told my mom tuesday boozeday rhymes so that she can remember not to text or call me on wednesday mornings
youre going to kill that woman one of these days
He's doing the single life. He recently finished like a 3 year relationship. You can't date him.
But I don't want to date him. I just want to look at him. Naked. And in my bed.
Just because you put plan b in my Easter basket doesn't give you an excuse not to wear a condom.
Life lesson today, a six foot hot guy I meet at a party CANNOT fit on my bike with me.
All the alcohol I spilled on myself must have acted as a disinfectant or something. I haven't showered in three days and I still don't have a staph infection from sleeping on the lawn with you.
I was fine until "Under Pressure" came on the radio. It's like God wanted me to shit my pants on the drive home.
please tell me we weren't that bad as freshmen
i can't, we're worse now
Yo, go checkout Kerri's Instagram quick! There's like 12 pics of her fucking some guy in a bar's bathroom. GO GO GO GO!!!!
So...guess who had sex tied to the ladder of a caboose under the stars in Joshua Tree? This bitch
Worst case scenario- he paid me for sex with meatloaf. There are worse thing, right? I mean at least is was good meatloaf.
Cat needed to get out last night. Walking to the door was too much effort so I encouraged (pushed) him to leave via window.
Isn't your room on the second floor?
For a second I thought he was going to give me an intervention
You can't give interventions in a bar!
Omg, new summer goal: sex in a bouncy castle.
Randomize
