Dude if you're in another zip code it doesn't count
You don't understand. I'm not like you.
Yea. You cant just squeeze my balls. They are sensitive
she gave me one of those friendship bracelets and said as long as I wore it it was like an all-access pass to her vagina
We were sitting in my backseat and he just kept biting me and telling me we weren't at the zoo...
Every time I get scared about the fact that I'm falling for him I remember that he juggles and is hung like a mastadon and everything is a-ok.
Apparently we both projectiled on Erin at the same time.
That's some true roommate bonding right there.
Jake and I will do a protection ritual for ur dick I don't know where she has been
I could just tape a camera with a live feed to my head & you could check in on me from time to time
I feel like the universe head butted me in my balls. That hungover.
.... My lady balls. Cuz I'm a lady.
i still can't believe he got laid by going to the bar and handing out "cuddle buddy" application forms
It's accurate though. I am legitimately passionate about pickles. I crave pickles the same way I crave sex. It is a deep rooted animalistic need
Thanks for coming out I think haley is drunk enough for breast milk White Russians
I'd love you more if you were covered in hot cheetos
If we were teenagers we would intentionally be trying to burn down this historic landmark
where are you guys?
stoned at his house watching water boil
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