WOAH SHIT! That wasn't my girlfriend last night.
ur plase or mine? lol
well if you don't learn how to spell, you may be at your place and I'll be at mine.
I just saw a van full of amish parents and their kids. Those cheating mother fuckers!
and you're not allowed to put a penis in you if it's attached to a 26 year old who works at blockbuster
I just asked the dr if it was herpes while wearing my shirt from the strip club...
I told you to stay away from the strippers in Oklahoma
well when mom kept referring to my "black hole of a vagina" and how i devoured all the nuts at the party like i was a pro, i figured my stay was up.
you made sure you came back for your bottle of vodka but didn't remember to take your shoes
do you really not remember him getting up at like 4am with a leaf blower running through the house and telling people to "WAKE THE FUCK UPPP"
Drunk you is everything I aspire to be in life.
Nope my penis exudes pure oxygen in times of crisis.
It's like some sort of initiation to finger one of them... so I did it. And got high fived afterwards like a dozen times.
Those were right hand only?
I mean like if I stood up my head might pull me down like an anchor
I think the blind guy i flirt with on a regular basis is starting to realize he's old enough to be my father. I can't tell if he's into it or not.
Only you would consider your best friend fucking your boyfriend to be a sign of everlasting friendship
A drunk frat boy just jumped on the hood of my car while I was driving down Bridge St. He yelled at me to keep going since he was playing frogger and needed another car to jump on... or a log. I hate this town.
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