ex-cheerleader. ex-gymnast. ex-dancer. i dont even know who to go for tonight
Just put an ad on Craigslist for a fake groom... I'm sure only non creepy sane people will respond to it
4 girls from the bar, me, strip basketball. here. NOW
I woke up this morning and the search history on my phone says: "What is this castle in front of my house?"
I went to bed at ten on a Friday night I have virtues to spare
We fucked on a kid's slide, my vagina is singing praises of being used
Wait do you remember that guy last night asking to use my nose ring to open his beer.......
btw my frat has a search out for you. the "girl who threw up in the middle of the party" but it was on some fat girls. so thank you.
You could sing the national anthem right before we have sex. Make it feel like a sporting event
Do you know why I woke up with a half peeled lemon in my purse with a post-it that said "eat me" on it?
OMG MY DAD TOLD ME HE MIGHT DO TINDER
I just kept hitting the drum to get thru the crowd to the bar. Surprisingly it worked
Does your Fitbit monitor your liver failure?
you tried to fight the cop who was busting the party, you said you had a constitutional right to do a keg stand...
I'm just happy stripping was the reason you fractured your hand
Randomize
