glow-in-the-dark stars on his ceiling from '98 totally make blowing him more romantic.
In a world where you don't want your phone to pocket dial your parents at 2 in the morning while you're running around Florida shitfaced, Droid does.
just got carried INTO the bar by 4 people. it's like watching my weekend in reverse.
Next guy we share better have a little more dignity than that
I think I just saw my 8th grade band teacher trying to pick up a hooker
4 girls bringing me taco bell. this is what dreams are made of.
ugh he was not leaving in the morning so i tried to scare him by crying and saying i wasnt ready to lose my virginity.
I'm fighting fire with fire. When my parents interrogate me about what I was doing last night, I tell them the truth. Every disgusting, awkward detail. I'm 23 now and they need to get used to it.
He is the blood diamond of hook ups. You think you want it...but you don't
I'm wearing a suit and have no chance of getting laid or robing a casino. I consider this opportunity a failure
I was trying to remember why my knees hurt then I remembered I was twerking on the countertops.
I think you are severely overestimating being able to get your lingerie back by posting the lyrics of Irreplaceable
Fuck these bullshit days. My underwear are still inside out.
LMAO. Stop. Men are such gentleman these days. I woke up with no one beside me and you got 6 cents
6 cents and no orgasm 💃🏻🎉
We are so blessed
Well, if I'm gonna go gay, it's gonna be for NPH
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