repeat this after me. period at the beach is better than baby at the beach. breathe. and: period at the beach is better than baby at the beach.
I hate nights where "I found my underwear" can be considered a victory.
i can barely draw a stick figure let alone shave a heart into my pubes
Playing hide and seek with all those cheeseburgers... Not our finest moment.
But once you explained how to fill cupcakes with semen I realize you were harmless and right on my level.
Maybe I can find a straight girl rehab camp, like the opposite of those degaying camps, where they teach me how to love the ladies instead
Omg. I would pay ALL OF THE MONEY for that camp.
If you sleep with him again I'll have you spayed
I've started budgeting for next year. It looks like I'll be crying tears of dollar bills and handing them over to pay back my unholy college debt.
You having your own car has severely reduced the amount of blowjobs I get.
It wasn't exactly a dick pic. It was more like a body shot with a hint of wiener.
Help me help you realize you are a moron
I'm drinking apple juice and champagne while watching crossroads..like the classy bitch that i am.
why is there a shopping cart in my back seat? and a dick drawn on the side of my car?
I'm peeing on your house...you up?
Between falling off a shelf on to a concrete floor and sex with you - i may never walk again.
Randomize
