omg. I had the wrong window open and I accidentaly posted my credit card # on twitter
Whats your twitter name
Dude, I think my check liver light just came on
Tempting. But I already used the alcohol poisoning excuse at work this month. No way he would believe it a second time...
This is great- I found hangover detoxifying bath salt online. It flushes out the alcohol. We need this.
If it looks really sketchy and smells like burnt pizza and pot you're in the right place
I didnt say frisky time, just alone time, to chat, or watch a show, or stare into one anothers eyes, or souls, or asses, whatever you straight people do
Just realized I could have five different dicks in me the day of valentines day but no real date. My life
my biography would be titled "haunting truths and dick jokes: a tale of love, loss, and masturbation."
i need to un-sleep with a few of those brothers before we ever go back to that house again. i'm serious. i will not be a fraternity groupie.
BTW car sex works all the muscle groups. Just sayin. Legs/butt are sore as are arms, back and core.
My phone just said I texted someone at 430a and said let's fight. Then I texted them an hour later and said thanks.
I woke up to a stripper (who added me on Facebook) messaging me reminding me to cancel my card if I can't find it
Wow. The LSU Tennessee game is on here and the LSU cheerleaders are stupid hot. Its weird having a hard on. At a bar. On a Wednesday. By yourself.
Was that before, or after strip tac toe.....
Told a guy at the bar I was hurricane evacuees with no place to stay. Just woke up at his place. God bless Florence
Randomize
